From Good Friday

"Bend thy boughs, O Tree of glory;
Thy relaxing sinews bend;
For awhile the ancient rigour
That thy birth bestowed, suspend:
And the King of heav'nly beauty
On thy bosom gently tend."

(from "Crux Fidelis," Pange Lingua, Palestrine/Sarum Plainsong)

Why do I forget about this stanza every year?  I do not complain, though, because every year I get to discover it afresh and be amazed.  The idea of a tree coming to life, or rather becoming animate, to wrap its arms gently around the body of the Lord, holding it, tending it, is so powerful, so intimate.  I always picture a tree in full foliage, rather than a hewn construction.  It feels protective.  It is such a maternal, caregiving, pieta-like picture.  I free-associate:  it feels ent-ish, only quieter;  it feels like Mary Oliver's trees, who do their jobs, and live their lives, and speak to us, teach us.  As we heard on Palm Sunday, if we don't praise him, the stones will do the job loudly instead.  Why, then, shouldn't a tree be able to cradle the maker and master of the world?

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"Blest tree, whose chosen branches bore
The wealth that did the world restore,
The price of humankind to pay,
And spoil the spoiler of his prey."

(from "Vexilla Regis," Sarum Plainsong, Mode I)

I love that last line.  I love the irony of the spoiler having his own plans spoiled.

and, in the same vein,

"Thus the scheme of our salvation
Was of old in order laid;
That the manifold deceiver's
Art by art might be outweighed
And the lure the foe put forward
Into means of healing made."

(from "Crux Fidelis," Pange Lingua, Palestrine/Sarum Plainsong)

The deceiver outschemed, out-art-ed, out-crafted.  The foe falls into his own lure, just as the psalmist prayed.  The lure, the trap, becomes a source of healing instead.  I have a healthy appreciation for such ironies.

Maundy Thursday Thoughts

Much to say about Maundy Thursday. I’ll start with my reflection from tonight’s service, in which the ritual of foot washing was observed:

Why does it undo me tonight to watch my priest de-vest, wrap an apron around his waist, kneel on stone, and wash the feet of the other priests, deacons, and acolyte before us? Why does it move me to see grown men and boys remove their solemn black shoes and socks to bare their white feet before us to be washed? The washed ones appear humbled, nervous, uncomfortable in varying degrees; they sit hunched or ramrod straight, they purposefully make no eye contact with anyone.

The irony is that, though they sit above, they are not in control of the situation. The ‘master,’ the priest on his knees, is mysteriously still the one in charge, despite the natural expectation that the server is the lowlier and more obedient of the two. When the ‘master’ humbles himself to do a difficult or demeaning job, it does not demean him but rather strengthens his position, due to his willingness to be low and do work. I have a deeper, truer understanding of the notion of servant leadership.

I would be interested to know what goes through the minds of the washed as they sit there being wetted or dried, looking down on the moptop of our tall priest’s head.

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A passage from the hymn we sang as the blessed sacrament was taken away from the altar to the altar of repose:

“[W]hen man partaketh,
Tho’ his senses fail to see,
Faith alone when sight forsaketh
Shows true hearts the mystery.

Therefore we, before him bending,
This great Sacrament revere;
Types and shadows have their ending,
For the newer rite is here;
Faith, our outward sense befriending,
Makes our inward vision clear.”

-St. Thomas Aquinas

Hoping to have a true heart. Hoping to be shown the mystery. Hoping to be befriended by faith. Hoping to have some inward clear vision.

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Working on a found poem from the various texts of tonight's service. Will post it, if I can find it well enough.

Somehow Spirit; and human nature

Yes, it's blurry.  It was from very far away;  I was up on a hill.  I leached all of the color out of it.  But I like it this way.  I could not tell from that far away what the bird was -- all I know is that it was white, and it was a bird of prey, and it had just left being chased by a persistent crow.  But I'm ok with not knowing, actually.  It opens the door to a more symbolic interpretation for me. 

Palm Sunday is hard, or at least weird.  It's disingenuously joyous and exuberant, because we already know our fickle ways;  we already know that in less than a week we're going to be calling for his unjust death;  we already know that we're going to give in to mob mentality, because that is the human way;  we already know that we're going to claim the consequences of our passion and our lack of foresight for our children ("let his blood be on our hands and on the hands of our children" -- What? Thanks a lot!  Speak for yourself, they say.).  So what else is new?  We keep doing this, exhibiting tragic lack of foresight, mortgaging our future generations' futures, offhandedly claiming the consequences of our actions, until those consequences start to hurt a little, and then we cry, "Yeah, but we didn't know then what we know now."  Why should we expect anything different from ourselves?  It is the human way.  And I am definitely human.  God have mercy upon me.

Yesterday's poem,

which I wrote (well, sneezed) yesterday, but which I could not post as I am without a computer right now. (Hard drive full; how can such a thing be possible?) I'm stealing some time on POM's laptop.

Maundy Thursday

Stark.
Bare.
Lightless.
The Presence has left the sanctuary.
The light is snuffed.
Bereft we are,
and he is veiled.

Happy Easter, and we're off...

...to Mendocino in the a.m.! We're supposed to have wi-fi, so we're taking the laptop in hopes that we'll have some access to email and the net. We'll see.

I hope you all had a lovely, refreshing, uplifting Easter, and good time with family and friends.

Spring break, here I come! :-)

Breaking the Lenten fast:


POM made crepes with strawberries and ricotta-basil filling. Oh, my lord! Incredible!




Then for our contribution to dinner, she made a butter-pecan cake with butter-cream-cheese frosting. And again I say, oh, my lord! (And doesn't my momma set a pretty table?)

Profusion!

It is a ridiculously beautiful day in SoCal today! It is 86 degrees with a cooling breeze. The flowers and the trees and the animals are all happy. I am happy.

After a safari around the yards, both front and back, I sit upstairs with the window open listening to the sounds. The breeze rustles the ash trees' leaves. The bike horn of the Mexican rolling cart of snacks grows louder and then softer in the distance. LittleKitty's insistent meow as she asks for love rises from below, as does the sound of the garage door springs as POM opens it to work on her pots for her primitive pottery class.

Today isn't supposed to be a day of joy. Holy Saturday is a day of watching and waiting, of pensiveness. And yet I can't ignore the profusion of ridiculous beauty. It elevates my mood because I already know what's going to happen tomorrow.

Enjoy the profusion of photos and beauty.

Cheating a bit today. Not sure I feel up to writing about Good Friday at the moment. A colleague kindly agreed to cover my sixth period today so I could leave in time to make it to our service at 3 p.m. For all the Good Friday services I've attended in my lifetime, this one covered some new territory for me. It's the most Catholic I've seen the Anglican Catholics be. No problems; just different.

Perhaps more later.

Random bullets:

• It's finally spring break.
• Took a two-hour nap this afternoon.
• It's after 10 p.m., and there's a crazy, lovely bird singing his heart out someplace in the backyard trees. This is his third night in a row. Performances will continue through Easter.
• This little test was fun, and fairly accurate, as online personality tests go:
  

Advocating Dreamer

about you
You are a Dreamer
Your combination of abstract thinking, appreciation of beauty, and cautiousness makes you a DREAMER.
You often imagine how things could be better, and you have very specific visions of this different future.
Beauty and style are important to you, and you have a discerning eye when it comes to how things look.
Although you often think more broadly, you prefer comfort to adventure, choosing to stay within the boundaries of your current situation.
Your preferences for artistic works are very refined, although you vastly prefer some types and styles to others.
Though your dreams are quite vivid, you are cautious in following up on them.
You are aware of both your positive and negative qualities, so that your ego doesn't get in your way.
A sense of vulnerability sometimes holds you back, stifling your creative tendencies.

If you want to be different:
Your imagination is a wonderful asset, but don't just dream—be bold enough to take action and explore new things!
Consider a wider range of details and possibilities when thinking about the present and the future—don't be too set in your ways.

how you relate to others
You are Advocating
Being social, empathic, and understanding makes you ADVOCATING.
Some people find being around others exhausting—but not you! You are energized by spending time with friends, and you are good at meeting new people.
One of the reasons you enjoy conversation as much as you do is that you often learn about yourself while talking things out with a friend; you realize things about your own beliefs while discussing them with others.
You have insight into what others are thinking and feeling. This ability allows you to be happy for others, and to commiserate when something has gone wrong for them.
You are highly compassionate, and being conscious of how things affect those close to you leaves you cautious about trusting others too hastily.
Despite these reservations, you are open-minded when it comes to your worldview; you don't look to impose your ways on others.
Your sensitivity towards others' plights contributes to an understanding—both intellectual and emotional—of many different perspectives.
As someone who understands the complexities of the world around you, you are reluctant to pass judgments.

If you want to be different:
While it's important to think about others, don't forget to take some time for yourself, and occasionally to put yourself first.
Take some time to spend with a few close friends; although it's difficult to find people to trust, it's worth the effort.
When you have great ideas, it can be hard to relinquish control, but it can also feel good to take the pressure off and enjoy someone else leading the way.

Maundy Thursday Reflection

This month marks the end of our first full year with our church. (Before that, I had been doing an admirable job of staying away from church altogether.) This is our first holy week with them. I thank God just about every day that he brought me to them. They nourish my soul, and my brain, and my spirit.

Bullets of powerful moments from tonight's Maundy Thursday service:

• “Now before the feast of the passover, when Jesus knew that his hour was come that he should depart out of this world unto the Father, having loved his own which were in the world, he loved them unto the end. ...he riseth from supper, and laid aside his garments; and took a towel, and girded himself. After that he poureth water into a bason, and began to wash the disciples' feet, and to wipe them with the towel wherewith he was girded.” (St. John 13)
  o It fascinates me that the sign of his loving them to the very end was that he humbled himself and washed their feet. For some reason, the clause "he loved them unto the end" stands out to me in way it has never done before.
  
  
• “So after he had washed their feet, and had taken his garments, and was set down again, he said unto them, Know ye what I have done to you? Ye call me Master and Lord: and ye say well; for so I am. If I then, your Lord and Master, have washed your feet; ye also ought to wash one another's feet. For I have given you an example, that ye should do as I have done to you.” (St. John 13)
  o I am reminded – as I read this, as I behold our own priest on his knees and washing the feet of the priests and deacons and acolytes tonight, as I read Antigone with my students in school – that leaders are servants, and leaders who refuse to serve are poor leaders indeed. (Lord, help thou my stubbornness, my recalcitrance, my sometime unwillingness to give.)
  
  
• “Save me from the lion’s mouth; thou has heard me also from among the horns of the unicorns.” (Psalm 22:21)
  o Does anyone else trip out that the Bible talks about unicorns? OK, so I don’t know what it was in the original Hebrew, but King James’s staff translated it as unicorns, and I cannot tell you how uplifting that is to my soul. It always makes me think of Madeleine, who understood the deeply spiritual and pure and holy nature of the unicorn (cf. Many Waters, for one).
  
  
• Our service booklet for this evening noted that the stripping of the altar (and everything near it) was to signify the disciples’ abandonment of Jesus in his hour of need. “Could you not watch with me one hour?” he asked them after they fell asleep as he prayed. “The spirit truly is ready, but the flesh is weak” (St. Mark 14).
  o I am acutely aware of my own weakness, of my frequent abandonment of what is important for the sake of what is convenient.
  
  
• “Mercifully grant, that we may…follow the example of his patience” (Collect for Palm Sunday).
  o May it be so. My fuse and temper are generally short these days. In addition to balance, patience is on my eternal quest list. (Lord, help thou my impatience and my exceedingly foul mouth.)